


Bad Day

by ruderadical



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Ashton - Freeform, First Kiss, Luke - Freeform, M/M, cal is a little bit older but still 16, cuz mmm yes', dark haired michael, it took me like 2 days to write this, michael is 16, what is backstory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-20
Updated: 2015-01-20
Packaged: 2018-03-08 07:59:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3201572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruderadical/pseuds/ruderadical
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael had two options. He could skip practice and have his band mates hate him forever, or he could go and be pestered nonstop for not wanting to talk to anyone. He sighed and hiked his guitar strap higher onto his shoulder.</p><p>Or a story in which Michael is sad and Calum is Confused</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Day

///////////  
Michael had two options. He could skip practice and have his band mates hate him forever, or he could go and be pestered nonstop for not wanting to talk to anyone.  
He sighs, and hikes his guitar strap up onto his shoulder. He should turn back. Skip this whole thing and wait for this god awful mood to blow over. He's thinking hard, maybe a little bit too hard, because Michael doesn’t realize he is right in front of the doorway to the recording studio until he runs into Luke, mouth full with marshmallows. Luke waves and grins, or at least as much as he can with a mouth full of drippy white fluff. Michael just nods and moves past him, slipping obto a loveseat in the studio.  
 ** _I don't want to do this. I really don't want to do this,_** Michael thinks lamely.

  
There isn’t anyone else in the studio now and he feels small. Small and upset. Pulling his phone, earbuds, and guitar pick out of his pocket, he scrolls through his playlist for a song to play that won't make him feel like shit. When he finally finds a song that fits his mood, he lifts his guitar out of the case. He hadn’t bothered to bring his electric, today was just going to be the soft songs (he hoped). At least for him it was. Getting into a comfortable position on the couch with his legs folded underneath him, he shuts his eyes and begins to play.

_Don't talk, let me think it over_   
_How we gonna fix this?_   
_How we gonna undo all the pain?_   
_Tell me, is it even worth it?_   
_Looking through a straight line_   
_Taking back the time we can't replace_

God, Michael's chest hurt. He couldn’t tell whether it was his heart, or the fact he was on the very edge of crying. He kept going though, he honestly didn’t like stopping in the middle of a song, no matter how shitty he was feeling.

_When I close my eyes and try to sleep_   
_I fall apart, I find it hard to breathe_   
_You're the reason, the only reason_   
_Even though my dizzy head is numb,_   
_I swear my heart is never giving up_   
_You're the reason, the only reason_

\--

He can’t go any further. His eyes burn from unsuccessfully trying to hold back tears and his throat hurts from forcing out the lyrics. It’s the most feeling he's put into a song in a while and he almost regrets singing the song in the first place. Eventually he realizes that he’s been staring into nothing for a while when the song on his phone shuts off abruptly and suddenly switches to a soft guitar riff he doesn’t recognize.

 _You call me up_  
 _It’s like a broken record_ -

When he hears the first lyrics, he rips the headphones out of his ears, ignoring the scratching. He forced himself to stop listening to that song a long time ago, and he refused to start now. His face is ridden with tears and he hiccups, haphazardly putting the guitar back on the chair.

He pushes his black hair out of his face and uses his sleeve to wipe the tears away. He suddenly hears footsteps and he jerks his head up and quickly prays to anyone up there, that his eyes aren’t red. Calum (of all people) walks in slowly, and Michael subconsciously thinks that he looks pale, but he doesn’t pay any attention. His hair is down today and he’s wearing a black sweater Michael notices immediately. He has to force himself to stop staring, because it’s actually _his_ sweater. The oversized sweater Michael gave him in year 10 when the schools heat blew out in the middle of winter. Personally Michael didn’t like it, it was too baggy and made him look shorter than he already was so he was completely alright with Calum taking it off his hands. It looked better on him anyway.

"H-hi." Calum says quietly and Michael doesn’t want to look up so he doesn't. He just waves weakly and resists the urge to fling himself out of the window.

"U-Um Michael, Ashton and Luke told me-." Calum begins and Michael stops listening when he feels a little bit of jealousy stab him the heart. All Calum ever seems to care about nowadays is Luke. It’s turned from C and M, to C and L and maybe M if they felt like it. Michael tries to push the feelings away but they just come back 100 times stronger and if he doesn’t bite his tongue he might end up saying something he'll regret.

"I don't know." He says finally. He actually really doesn’t know, he wasn’t listening when Calum asked him about whatever it was he was talking about. He's afraid if he says more his voice will give away that something’s not right. He’s looking at Michael funny, but he ignores it and glances down at Calum’s boots instead.

Michael's head still hurts and he wants to go home. Calum looks like he wants to say something else but gets cut off by both Luke and Ashton flying through the doorway, laughing bit sobering up when they see the tension floating above their heads. Michael knows if he had been feeling alright he would’ve cursed at them for making him wait so long, but considering the fact that he just wanted to go home and hole up in his room forever made him stay quiet.

"Sorry we're late," Luke puffs. "Got caught up."

If something’s had been different, and had Michael actually cared, he would’ve questioned why they both came in together.

Luke’s looking at him funny, but Michael just ignores it, like everything else.

"Can we start now?" Michael blurts out quickly. He'd rather not have to wait any longer than he already had.

Now both Luke and Ashton are looking at him weird, but they nod and sit down regardless. Calum's moved into his seat and Michael is happy he doesn’t have to sit next to anyone.

"What'd you guys wanna play first? I was thinking about maybe English Love Affair, we haven’t played that in a while. You up for it, Mikey?" Ashton rambles. He feels his face fall, and If Michael is being honest, he doesn’t even want to be here right now, much less sing lead. He opens his mouth to respond when he gets cut off by Calum.

"Hey, actually, could we play something else? I’ve got a killer headache and I can’t go for anything too loud today." Calum interjected, pulling his bass up onto his lap. When Michael looks up at him in surprise he finds Calum's already staring at him. His heart is starting to pound again and he doesn't like it at all.

"Yeah sure, you guys alright with that?" Ashton nods, looking around. Michael still doesn’t respond but is happy that he doesn’t have to sing. At least for now.

"Let’s go with Amnesia then." Ash directs, setting himself up on the drummer box. Michael closes his eyes once again and tries to drown out the sound of everything but the music. After that it’s just naming songs, changing tunes, and a little bit of conversation between the boys (Michael not included). Michael tried to lose himself in every song and he had been somewhat successful until they had gotten to Heartbreak Girl.

He actually hates this song. He's hated it since year 10, which was the time he qualified as the year everything went to shit. The only reason he hasn’t said anything about it is because Calum loves singing it. He claims that it’s his favorite (just like every other song they've ever written) but this one seems special to him. Michael knows this is the last song for the day so he half-assedly sucks it up and waits for him to start. When he does though, it hurts all the same. Michael hopes he can just plow through the song and leave so he can go back the sleep and forget about everything that’s wrong with him, but it seems to drag on forever. When the song is finally over, he waits for Ashton to say that they can leave but it never comes. It's Luke who talks instead.

"Hey Mikey? You alright? Me and the lads noticed that you seemed reeeeally out of it today." Luke asks and Michael's heart sinks. Does life really hate him so much that it would push this in his way? All he wants is to go home. Away from all of these stupid irrelevant feelings. Why is this so much to ask for?

"M'fine." He says quietly. He realizes that he's shaking. Before they can ask any more questions, Michael zips up his guitar case and slings it over his shoulder.  
"M'fine." He repeats but mostly to himself this time. He needs the reassurance. Michael can feel the tears coming so he gets up and bolts out of the room. He can’t take this anymore. He hopes that he can just go home and finally forget this entire band ever happened. He only realizes he's not that lucky when he hears footsteps slapping the hardwood behind him.

"Michael!" Someone- Calum yells behind him. Of course. He wants to stop because his head hurts and so does his chest. But he knows if he does he'll end up telling him everything and the fact that Calum doesn’t know is the only thing that’s keeping him hanging on. Michael will never forgive himself if he tells Calum the real reason he's stopped talking to him. The tears are falling freely and if he doesn’t get to his room _right now_ , he's going to stop running. He sees an open janitor’s closet ahead and Calum is still a few doors down so Michael flings himself into it and slams the door. He lets out a weary sob and puts his back to the far wall as he the footsteps slow to right outside the door.

"Michael let me in," He hears Calum say. He sounds upset, and Michael can’t imagine what for. Maybe the fact that Michael’s ruined everything, like always. He's shaking his head slowly but it doesn’t catch that Calum can’t see him through the door. He's still crying and he can’t stop no matter how much he wants to, because the only thing filtering through his mind is how badly he's going to fuck this up. Still trying to catch his breath, Michael responds.

"Please don't," He tries his hardest not to let his voice reveal that he's crying but to no avail.

"Are- are you crying? Fuck, Michael please let me in! I’m not leaving until you come out, and you know I’m not joking." Calum says firmly, borderline desperately. Michael only wishes he was joking. Just as he's about to give up and open the door he hears a click and the room floods with burnt yellow light. Michael's head is in his hands and his knees are pulled up to his chest. It actually startles him that the door has opened, but he doesn’t show it. He refuses to give any indication of movement.

"Oh my god," Calum whispers but Michael’s hands are laced through his hair and he's trying to block out everything but the sound of his own heartbeat. He’s gently rocking back and forth and he wants to scream. He doesn’t want to do this anymore. He’s been trying and trying and trying to move on, but never to any conclusion. Overall, Michael is tired. Tired of holding his feelings down, tired of being ignored, tired of living this way. He sucks in a breath and looks up ready to stand and push pass Calum if he had to. He hopes he doesn’t have to because it is unarguably true that Calum is stronger than him.

"Ashton told me. He told me everything." Calum whispers. He's on his knees now, feet away from Michael.

He stops rocking.

There’s a brief moment of silence, and all he can hear is the blood rushing through his ears. Finally, Michael wants to ask if Calum hates him. He waits, still trying to comprehend what exactly "everything" is, when Calum lurches forward and wraps his arms around Michael's neck.  
He's flinches at first because that was the last thing he expected Calum to do, but the fear slowly melts away because he realizes that Calum isn’t letting go.

"What-" he begins, but is cut off by the sound of Calum sniffling and hugging him tighter. Michael doesn’t understand.

"I thought," Calum begins and Michael is startled by how rough his voice sounds.

"I thought you hated me." He stops to (somewhat) discretely wipe at his eyes and when he pulls away Michael shivers but he doesn’t break eye contact with Calum. When he sees the confused look on Michael's face he elaborates.

"One day we were best friends then that stupid interview happened you suddenly stopped talking to me altogether. I was so scared, Mikey, I thought you were never going to talk to me again. Then I asked Ashton a couple days ago why you started to hate me, and he finally told me right before practice today, I was so confused and then he told me why you stopped talking to me." Calum stops to take a breath, and looks up at the ceiling of the tiny janitor’s closet. Michael is listening intently but still doesn’t want to believe what he's hearing. Surely Calum wouldn’t have flagged him down if he never wanted to talk again. Right?

"I thought you needed time alone so I left you alone but you started pulling away even more so I realized that probably wasn’t the best way to get to you." He pauses at this point and looks away, blushing.

"Then Ashton told me that you lik-loved me, and that’s why you completely shut me out. Mikey, what I’m trying to say is that, uh," Calum stops talking which causes Michael to look up and he still blushes thinking about it to this day.

He looks up and is greeted with Calum’s lips being pressed firmly onto his. Michael is shocked into putting his hands on Calum's face which only deepens the kiss. After Michael finally comprehends what's happening, he closes his eyes and slides his hands down to around the back of his neck, effectively trapping Calum in. He doesn’t mind it when Calum's s hands land on both sides of his hips and drag him forward. Michael pulls away first and Calum rests his head on Michael's shoulder.

"I’m trying to say I’m sorry." He says breathlessly.


End file.
